I’ve learned some things from Havi about Doors. About the power and awesomeness of saying hello to something, making peace with what it is, in order to make room for what comes next.
Earlier this week, I wrote a love letter — a Save the Date! — to the qualities I want to play with at Monday’s mini-Rally:
Trust, Play, Creativity, Surprise.
Insight, Safety, Flow, Openness.
And secret themes behind the qualities: Being-ness. Self-ness. Enoughness. Wholeness. Wholeselfedness.
That was the invitation. The invocation. Naming the path.
But it wasn’t the door.
This is the door
This weekend. It will be: two days of being home, before Monday’s day off of work (thank you, Martin Luther King Jr.!) when Simone and I will hold ourselves a long-distance mini-Rally. This weekend will be: two days away from regular weekday routines. And then after that will come the special Rally headspace of play and delving deep and exploring.
So I need to say hello to this door, name it and what it will be, in order to get through to Monday’s mini-Rally on the other side.
You are good: a break in the flow of workday weekdays. Free-flowing time.
You are challenging: extended hours in which I must be very present with the toddler, and with her cousin who is coming to play with us both mornings. Being present by myself because for some of it, my spouse-person will be at work.
This could be easy. It could also be very hard. It will require a lot of sovereignty. Letting the Patient Delightful Teacher self be in charge even when the Cranky Adult Auntie would prefer to steer the boat. (Directly to the bar, if you please. Tom Collins ahoy!)
So. How can I get Patient Delightful Teacher me to show up? Brainstorming:
Lots of sleep. Planning ahead for possible sleep disturbances. Sleeping around the disturbances, in fact.
Back-up plans for when I need a Hail Mary pass? (Perhaps literal passes: passes to the zoo!)
Snacks: grapes, pretzels, popcorn. Note to self, stop at the store on the way home tonight.
Recruit allies as needed.
Engaging around activities (remember how they loved painting together?) instead of just opening up a toytime free-for-all.
Fresh air. However this can be done, barring the chill, the mud and the traffic.
Music. Dancing. Singing. Bring out the costumes.
And in the afternoons, of course, sovereign support in order to let the Patient Delightful Teacher rest. Literal naps. Getting outside. Asking the spouse-person to take over in the evenings when possible.
Hello, weekend. I feel so much more ready for you now that I’ve written this down. Ahhhhhh. Infinitely more capable of getting through with my sanity intact and my excitement sustained for Mini-Rally Monday.
Left to my own devices, I like to pretend that every weekend is a paradise of sleep and fun, which is usually not realistic (aha hello there, sneaky undermining pattern!). There may be tantrums (of both the toddler and adult variety). Grumpiness and boredom. Laundry and dishes and errands. A case of the winter blahs.
I get my feelings hurt when I forget to acknowledge what a weekend may truly contain. Does that ever happen to you? It’s not a good feeling.
What does feel good: going into this with my eyes open. Practicing acknowledgement and proactive compassion. Building space for delight by planting gifts (plans and allies and snacks!) for my future self. Planning ahead. Sovereignty. Yes.
Thank you for reading, friends. Can’t wait to come out the other side and report on the mini-Rally! See you next week. xo