For the next two weeks I’m working on a wee project that I dreamed up, oh let’s see…a whopping six months ago! (Goodness. That’s a testament to: planting seeds and trusting they will grow against all odds; patience, of course; the awesomeness of Secret Play Dates; life being generally busy and occasionally sad/confusing and moving with its own unpredictability.)
I’m using Maryann and Shannon’s Why Not Now group to hold a nice little container of accountability and action and support for this project, which will be: launching one tiny piece of a much bigger project I’ve been dreaming about.
It started, quite simply, with packing the box you see in that photo up above: full of the things that will make this project go forward. I’m going to make a thing, you see. A doll, or rather a doll-pattern.
To start us off, Shannon and Maryann hosted a call where we got to hear a little bit about other peoples’ projects (such coolness! oh gosh you guys I can’t wait to see some of this stuff) and I learned that I’m not alone in having some of the fears that I have.
While listening, I took a lot of notes on my fears, a rather vocal bunch of monsters who had tense observations to make on the whole process. Even with that enticing shoebox full of fun things on my writing desk (crafting things! at work! how unexpected!), I was a little scared.
I found the You’re Not An Expert judging monster, the This Is Way Too Big project-manager monster, and the Holy Logistics Freakout Collective (who submitted a petition that was composed entirely of incoherent wails).
I said okay, I hear you. The container for this project has room for you, too.
I gave the monsters their own space to talk and figure things out on a separate page (thank you Havi for that technique!). And then I sketched and cut and pinned.
And I listened some more to the project and how, if I listened carefully, there were easy ways to make it happen, despite the There Is No Time fear monsters. Future Self said, all you need is to get one little mock-up prototype. Not perfect, not looking at the sample doll you wanted to copy. Just…try it out.
Make it ready so you can refine it later.
You can do this. You’ve done this before.
And there you go. One hour on the group phone call. Twenty minutes sketching, pinning, cutting. Ready for the next step!
I’d like the rest of the project to continue like this, too. The genius of the Why Not Now thing is that there are check-in calls every three days, so I’m motivated to get a little bit done every day in order to move towards whatever next obstacle or stage or plateau might be out there.
I’d like to find: ease and trust. Playfulness, even when the damn sewing machine does its inevitable stupid thing and I have to rip it apart. Space for the Oh God Do I Have To Use InDesign fears and the entire Holy Logistics Freakout Collective to gnash and wail and figure out how to do it in a safe way.
I’d like to find: tiny pockets of time. Supportive ways to focus on the goal (a PDF ready to launch!) and less on the perfectionism. Unlikely support and allies who know secret ways of doing things. I just know they’re out there.
I’d like to give myself permission especially to not disappear down endless rabbit holes of research into blogs that give me the comparison-jitters and what-ifs and other fearful twitches. It’s okay to do this my way. It’s okay to change it later. It’s going to be more fun and there will be more me in the final product if I do what comes naturally instead of copying someone else’s methods or layout or design. Connect to the touchstones, and it will be easier, hopefully:
Ease. Play. Trust. Time. Selfness. Safety.
Hello, project. Can’t wait to dive in more and more.