As promised, I visited a dragon whisperer today. These things don’t get solved in one visit, of course, but I did come away with some questions.
It’s like this: my dragon happens to have a lot of her own personal pains and hurts going on, and wants them to be recognized. Of course! Every being wants to know that its pain isn’t invisible. Just like I want her to know that the fire-breathing stuff is pretty painful for me.
Me too! I want my pain recognized! But it’s not just a matter of new pain (stop burning me!), it’s the old wounds that I’d like recognized, because back then I didn’t get to say that it hurt, for whatever reason. I realized the essential thing of getting old wounds recognized is to ask
Why did you hurt me?
The question behind the question, however, is whether there is can be a satisfying answer. Is there any possible answer that could make me feel better? Probably not.
I know for sure that Sorry doesn’t cut it. Or hasn’t, historically. The dragon and I, and the entire royal family for that matter, have gone back and forth about these old and new burns, and scars, and fire-breathing in general, for quite some time. I mean, obviously our past efforts haven’t really borne fruit if we’ve come to this impasse and had to get dragon whisperers involved.
So what is the answer? How do you heal from the old stuff? How do you rectify those old hurts? And what do you do when your tormentor denies ever doing such a thing?
In theory I think I’m just supposed to be okay with it inside my own soul. To know that there is no
spoon shoe. And to learn to be okay with it, with me, with not knowing the cosmic why behind it all.
Well, today I’m just sitting with the giant, unhappy monsters who say It’s Not Fair.
Monsters, I agree with you. I’m still sorting it out, though, give me time.
Public service announcement: M&Ms are not a very good cure for dragon burns. Leftover apple latkes, on the other hand, at least made me smile.