Friday check-in: Insert life here

Oh goodness me, name-checked in Havi’s chicken! Hello, visitors! Put your feet up, stay awhile, and maybe I’ll see you at the Rally? Or if not, come back later and I will write about how awesome the Rally is and why you must go next time.

Writing my check-in, it occurred to me there is SO MUCH going on that it seems I barely have room in my head for it all. A number of hard, real things. Let’s start with the hard and the bad and go to the good and the awesome, shall we?

Hard stuff

Two people invaded my bubble with negativity and ignorance. Question: why do I bother to visit Facebook when this always happens? If Twitter is like the bar (Havi’s oh so apt comparison) where I get to hang out with interesting people, Facebook is like walking through the high school cafeteria, because there are too many conflicting social obligations and identities to navigate. There’s really no obligation to go there — but it took yet another hard moment this week to realize how much happier I am when I stay away.

Also hard: I finished my important draft ahead of schedule, but when I was done I slumped directly into slump-land. Refused to edit. Refused to take the next step. I’m frustrated that I don’t know what my brain needs to move forward. Maybe at Rally next week I will learn better tools for getting out of stuff like this, yes?

Also hard: a family monster keeps popping up like we’re playing Whack-a-Mole. We need to set some really hard boundaries with an addict. There are all kinds of hurt and fear and guilt and anxiety coming up and I’ll have to deal with it soon but gah. Yuck.

Also: the realization that I’m not yet ready to do my yoga solo. I tried to do some by myself and it didn’t work at all. I’m willing to stretch. I’m willing to do a pose or two. But that’s it. And that’s okay, but it was a startling and challenging realization. Don’t I cherish my introvert time? But apparently using it to be alone with my brain and body together is too hard sometimes.

One very bad thing

Oh sugar. We are so bad for each other, why do we keep meeting like this? You know, when I put sugar on the list like this, it’s easier to make the connection: sugar ==> tiredness ==> hard week. Yup.

Good things abound

Hip openers! I’ve started doing them every single day and afterward it’s like I have a whole different body! I bet this is how people with normal hips feel but wow, yet another time when I think I’m being open but it’s not enough, I have to keep doing it more to make a difference.

Also good: my webinar class with Katy Bowman on the pelvic floor. Friends, did you know how much how you stand has to do with pelvic floor health? Craziness. Also, you think you know how to stand up straight? Then you take this class and you get real humble because you realize you don’t. Wow.

Also good: a flood of new twitter and blog friends coming over from Havi’s blog. Hi again, friends!

Also good: That feeling when you remember something is not your job, and you let go of it…ahhhh.

Amazingly exciting things

(I love ending with the exciting stuff, don’t you?)

The Rally starts on MONDAY! I keep writing about how excited I am but seriously guys. SO. EXCITED.

Also after Rally is when my good friend Erin comes to stay with me during the Portland Zine Symposium and because we are insane we are actually thinking about making a 24 hour letterpress zine together while she’s here.

I hope your weekend is full of whatever it is that you like best. Happy fulfilling times are ahead and I’m very, very excited about them all.


About jesse k.

Writer. Mama. Spy in the house of self-awareness. Occasional crafter, letterpress geek, and academic snob.
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