Two things happened this weekend!
I did not die, and my pain decreased! Really, I could put twelve exclamation marks after that sentence (!!!!!!!!!!!!) and it still wouldn’t convey how awesome this truly was. If you know someone who experiences chronic pain, give them a hug. And then someday, maybe they will describe to you the day when it went away, even a little bit, and how awesome it was.
Havi announced her first Rally is happening, next week!
And I took the plunge and signed up. When I first got the email announcement about it, I got a lump in my throat because I was so excited and I knew immediately: this is something I’m supposed to do.
And yet various monsters showed up (surprise, surprise). Fear. Skepticism. Self-doubt, the Great and Terrible Underminer. Suspicion. It was a big ol’ mess of loud voices saying DON’T DO THIS THING even though there was one great shining voice of beauty saying DO THIS THING BECAUSE IT WILL BE BEAUTIFUL.
I heard: Your project isn’t real. You can’t work on it at the Rally. But I also heard: But it wants to be nurtured! It can’t grow while it’s being ignored, and I want to be nurtured and have fun.
I heard: You don’t know what this Rally thing is all about, how can it possibly be good? But then I thought: It sounds like so much fun! And I want to practice letting the unknowns be good things, not just bad scary things.
I heard: You’re going to take three days off from your day job? For yourself? But my counter-thought was the same, only with less derision, more amazement and excitement: You’re going to take three days off from your day job. For yourself.
One of my tasks at the Rally will be to listen to that voice of amazement and wonder and creativity and flow. I will lure the monsters in with cookies and then I will sing them lullabies. I will get to visit the Playground! I won’t just be having fun with my thing, I’ll get to play around on the mental monkey bars with it, go for a swing and a gallop around the edges of it if I get confused or stuck. I will get this incredible chance to dedicate three days to my thing with the rest of the Rallyites (the Rally Cabal! the One True Order of the Rallions!) and see what it’s like.
This is like the writing retreat I wrote about wanting, not so long ago! Except it’s not a retreat. It’s a Rally! I’m going to go wave my flag, do my thing, take notes, and have a whole heap of fun.